Jack's Cotton Candy Revenge
by twopossiblethings
Summary: Jack would get his brother back for eating the doughnut and getting him grounded. And revenge would be sweet. Jack centric, McPriceley sprinkles. Inspired by asktheelders


Jack never forgot that fateful night. The night his brother Kevin lied and got him grounded and ensured his parents would never trust him again. Of course, later that night, Kevin wet his bed and Jack never let him live that one down. But Jack still wanted revenge. Something that would stick with his brother forever.

So he took up hypnotism. His mother bought him a kit at the old magic shop in town. He wrote letters to the hypnotist that came to their school the year before. He studied hard and practiced on his friends at recess. When he was finally able to get Ken to squawk like a chicken every time the teacher said "Yes." he knew it was time to put his plan into action.

"Come on, Kevin! I need to practice!" Jack pleaded. He needed Kevin to agree to let him try his new tricks. "I just want to try it once! It's in the book mom gave me. Please?"

Kevin relented. "Fine. But you better pinky promise not to make me do anything stupid."

Jack jumped up and down. "That's not what this one does. You'll just jump every time I blow this whistle." He got to work, relaxing Kevin and turning on his metronome.

"Alright Kevin. You're getting sleepy. You're so tired." His voice was slow and measured. "Close your eyes. Listen to my voice. Let the whole world disappear. Relax. Don't worry." He lets the machine click a few more times. "Kevin. If you are completely relaxed, squeeze my hand."

There were a few seconds of panic, did the hypnosis take hold or was Kevin immune? If he responded too quickly, then he was mos likely faking. If he didn't respond at all, he was too deep and wouldn't take the suggestion.

Tick. Tock.

Kevin sluggishly tightened his fingers. Jack wanted to breathe a sigh of relief but caught himself. It would have to wait until we woke Kevin back up.

"Alright Kevin. Listen very carefully..." He planted the suggestion. "And when I snap my fingers you will wake up. Three. Two. One." He snapped his fingers and Kevin's eyes opened. Jack blew the whistle. Kevin did not stand and jump.

"You're dumb. It didn't even work."

Jack let his face fall. "Aw, man! Do you think we could try-"

"No. You promised I only had to do it once! I'm going to watch my Disney Sing Along tapes." Kevin stomped out of the room. Jack waited until he heard the familiar strains of "It's a Small World" before he let out a laugh.

Two days later, while all grades were playing outside for recess, Jack put his plan into action. He watched his brother run all over the playground with his friends, mostly girls from his class. Another young chicken ran up to him and they spoke briefly. Jack knew she'd be asking him if she could join their game of Cinderella. She'd even offer to be the evil Step-mother. Jack knew all this because he'd given her two dollars and a brand new Barbie he'd stolen from his sister to go talk to Kevin at recess.

The girl's name was Lorraine Beaufort. Lorraine was tall and husky, with buck teeth and a deep Southern drawl. A nice girl, not very bright, but not one of the more popular specimens. She wasn't the worst looking girl or the least popular. There was very little remarkable about Lorraine. Except one item, one thing she had on her at all times. She was the only girl in the whole school (elementary AND middle) who wore Lipsmackers Brand Cotton Candy Chapstick.

Kevin considered her plea. He nodded and pulled her over to the other girls. They set up their game and played. The five minute warning bell went off, Jack's cue. He jumped off the tire swing and ran over to the door to watch. The children rapidly came to the conclusion and Kevin pointed his sword (stick) at the wicked Step-mother (Lorraine) in order to save his princess. Kevin got closer to her, to give his heroic speech.

Then, in front of the entire school, he kissed Lorraine Beaufort who slapped him and ran to the hall monitor in tears. The school yard erupted in laughter and Kevin blinked, surprised at himself. Jack ducked into the building before his brother could spot him.

That night, when the Price family sat down to dinner, Jack dropped the bomb on the table.

"Kevin kissed Lorraine and made her cry." Mr. and Mrs. Price looked at each other and then at their sons.

"Oh? Kevin, why would you do that?"

Kevin blushed. "We were playing Cinderella and I was just playing. I didn't mean to make her cry." Jack watched their parents, waiting for the storm of anger. Little Mormon boys weren't supposed to kiss girls before they were married. Kevin was in so much trouble. "She had cotton candy lips and it was yummy."

Mr. and Mrs. Price burst out laughing. "Honey! Kevin, you shouldn't go around just kissing girls. You have to ask them first!"

Mr. Price clapped a hand on Kevin's shoulder. "That's my little man. Do what your mother says, you've got to ask a girl or give them flowers first." The laughter died down and dinner resumed.

Jack was furious. His plan had completely backfired! Kevin was supposed to be in deep trouble, not his parent's pride and joy! He sulked for the rest of dinner and well past dessert. He pouted all night and wouldn't respond when his mother asked him what was the matter. He refused to talk to Kevin or Lorraine for weeks.

Eventually, he for got all about the incident. Until Kevin got back from his mission years later.

"Yeah, then I just kissed him. I don't know what came over me. I just did. Jack, I think I'm in love." Kevin confided in him, confessed to Jack about his boyfriend. He'd met the guy on his mission and now the other guy was living in New York City after being excommunicated from the church. "I don't know what to do. Jack, what do I do?" Kevin's eyes were wide and full of tears.

Jack looked at his brother, all the words of the Church and their father swirling in his head. He remembered all the trouble Kevin used to get him into. He reached out and grabbed his brother's hand.

"Kevin, there's only one thing for you to do."

Years later, Jack sits at his brother's left hand with a glass of champagne in his hand. He stands up and clears his throat. He's been practicing this speech since he was ten.

"You all know what kind of man my brother Kevin is. Self centered, egotistical, vain." The room erupts in laughs. "He always got me in so much trouble. He'd blame everything on me. He never let me practice hypnotism on him. He even made me and Luce and Emily play the games he wanted to, no if's and's or but's about it. When we were kids he used to play Disney and he always had to be the prince. At recess, he used to force the little girls into being Cinderella, Snow White. You name it. Once, he even made a girl cry because he kissed her." That really made them laugh.

"My brother is a lot of things. Selfish, stupid. But he's also the only true romantic I've ever met. He's honest and annoying and giving. We don't always get along. There was a period of a couple of years when we couldn't even talk." That choked him up. He didn't like to think of those years. "One thing made it better. One person. Who made Kevin give up his pride and gave him the courage to call home. Who keeps him grounded and puts him in his place. Someone very special to him and now, to me." He looks down the table to the smiling face on Kevin's right side. "Without you, we'd never have gotten close again and I thank God for you every day. Thank you for putting up with my kid brother. Thank you for making him make me the best man."

"I'd like you all to raise a glass for my brother and his own personal Disney Princess." He sips his own champagne and nods at the applause and sits back down. Kevin throws an arm around him. They're both crying. He whispers in Jack's ear.

"I don't know what I would do without you, brother."

"You'd be dead."

"Don't I know it." Kevin turns around and kisses his partner. "Mmm, cotton candy."

Jack is frozen in place. "Cotton candy?"

Kevin looks back at him. "Yeah. Connor always wears cotton candy Lipsmackers. He was wearing it the first time we kissed. It's like a good luck charm."

They stare at him when Jack starts laughing. They look at each other and wonder just how much he's had to drink. They get even more confused when he puts his hands on their shoulders.

"You're welcome. You are so welcome."

Kevin and Connor return to their dinners. Connor leans over. "What's so funny about my chapstick? And what in the world are we supposed to be thanking him for?"

Kevin shrugs. "I have no idea."

-fin-


End file.
